To Hell in a Handbasket
by Jiwa
Summary: A Doctor Who fan, tour of London, and some accidental dimensional travel. When you find yourself stranded in the Doctor Who universe, who you gonna call? Tochwood Cardiff, of course! (You can find the old version of this story under "Adventures of Susan the Finn".)
1. Stage One: Panic

**A/N:** I decided to post the first two chapters of this fic, even though I haven't yet re-written the rest of them. Don't worry, the overall plot of this story won't be that different to Adventure of Susan the Finn, just the start, some aspects of Susan as a character, and certain plot points. More to come, hopefully soon.

* * *

 _"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to."_

\- Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring

 **Chapter 1: Stage One, Panic**

Susan turned around, confused. One moment she had taken her camera out, preparing to take a picture of a huge Doctor Who advertisement, and the next the advertisement was gone, as was her tour group. She frowned and spun around, but couldn't spot them.

"Excuse me, have you seen a London tour group wearing yellow T-shirts?" she asked a young man sitting on a bench near by. "I'm afraid I've lost them."

"No, I don't think so," the guy said, looking around briefly and scratching his head through his black beanie. "If you're lost you should go into one of them tourist offices."

Susan pursed her lips at the helpful advice. "Yeah, thanks."

Good thing she had a map on her. According to it, there was an office just around the corner. She adjusted her shoulder bag on top of her black winter coat and started walking.

As she got there, there was no tourist office. Just a Shawarma place.

"They must have moved it," she sighed, wringing her hands in front of the fast food place. It looked cozy. "I wish I had a British phone plan in my phone so I could use the GPS..."

She glanced at the map and started walking towards the high street. Surely one of these offices would be where the map said they were.

"Ah, there's one!" she said and put the map away. She went through the door, pulled off her scarf and opened her jacket. She walked up to the desk. "Excuse me, I seem to have lost my group."

A woman in her fifties smiled at her, "We'll find them. What's the name of the tour, dear?"

"London Walks, the group was Tower of London, the 12 pm one."

The women typed something into her computer. "Let's see..." she read the screen carefully, and frowned. "I'm sorry, but I can't find anything called London Walks on our database. Are you sure it was called that?"

"Yeah, I've got their leaflet," Susan said, now frowning too. She handed it over. "Here."

The woman took it and skimmed through both sides of the leaflet. "I haven't seen one of these in my life," the woman said. "I'm afraid you might have been scammed."

"What!" Susan exclaimed, "No way. I even got this t-shirt," she said and opened up the t-shirt that had been tied around her left arm. "Look!"

"I'm sorry, but we haven't heard of them. It might just be a very elaborate scam, dear. It's not that unusual..."

Susan sighed and scratched her head. "Oh, whatever, I'll just go to my B&B. Do you have any maps? I think mine is outdated."

* * *

When she finally arrived at the Bed & Breakfast place, she was sweaty from all the walking. Maybe her winter clothes really were too warm for British winter. She took off her hat and scarf and once again opened her coat, and walked up to the reception.

"Hi, I was told my stuff would be brought here during the tour..." she started, and by the confused expression on the receptionist face, she closed her eyes and cursed silently. "Of course. That must have been a part of the scam," she muttered. "Uh, I've got a booking by the name of Susan Friberg, single room." It all was getting rather ridiculous.

The receptionist nodded and typed in her name. He turned back to her, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, there seem to be no bookings by that name."

"What!?" she gritted out. "But I've already paid for it!"

The receptionist looked apologetic. "May I ask, how did you make the booking?"

"Online, of course," she said.

"There lies your problem, sweetie," the receptionist said. "We don't take online bookings. This hotel doesn't have a website yet. I heard it's on it's way but it's not going to be online for at least six months."

"This is bullshit!" she said and stomped her foot. "I've been scammed again?! How can this happen twice in a row?"

"Would you like to book a room, dear?"

She gritted her teeth. "Yeah, why not since I'm already here."

"Single room's 25 quid a night."

She dug around her purse for her wallet and took out her credit card. "Here," she said and handed it over.

"Thank you."

She fanned the map on her face while waiting, feeling sweaty and disgusting. There was no question, her winter clothes were definitely too much for England. They didn't even have _proper_ winter.

"Miss, your card has been declined."

"Yeah yeah, thanks..." She said, holding her hand to get the card back. She stopped. "Wait. WHAT?"

"Your card has been declined," the man said, holding the card. "You won't be able to pay with this. Do you have another?"

"No," she said and bit her lip. Okay. Deep breaths.

This was bad.

"We take cash," the man said helpfully.

Susan glanced into her wallet. She only had 50 pounds in cash. She had counted on being able to get more from the ATMs, and people (mainly her parents) kept telling her it was no use taking large amounts of cash since every shop accepted cards nowadays.

"I only have 50 pounds..." she said and looked up. "I think I'll have to think what about this. Uh, thanks for your help." She backed out of the door, donning her winter clothes and closing her coat.

Susan took a shuddering breath and her face twisted. She was not going to cry on a public street. She walked towards a bus stop and sat down, her phone already in hand.

She dialled her mom and held the phone to her ear.

" _Valitsemanne numero ei juuri nyt ole käytössä. Numret ni har valt är inte i bruk. The number you have dialed is not in use._ "

She cried.

* * *

Susan sat on that bus stop for quite a while. Luckily none of the people passing by noticed her crying, so eventually the tears stopped. She blankly stared at her phone. Suddenly, it let out a sound to notify a new text message from an unknown number.

 _Check out the news. There's a news agency across the street.  
_ _Love, me.  
_ _xoxo_

She glanced up and behold, there was indeed a news agency there. She grabbed her bag and crossed the street in a daze.

As she entered, the shop keeper greeted her but she paid him no mind. Her eyes immediately zeroed on the newest headlines. They were all about the same topic.

THE CASE OF THE ROYAL HOPE HOSPITAL: ALIENS, OR A GOVERMENT COVER UP?

She blinked. Why did that hospital sound so familiar?

"Excuse me," she said to the shop keeper and pointed to the headlines. "What's this about aliens?"

The shop keeper looked at her and arched an eyebrow. "Haven't you followed the news? The whole country's talking about it. A hospital disappeared into thin air. Some of the survivors swear they were on the moon. Here, buy a copy and read for yourself."

She handed him some change and took the newspaper. Reading it confirmed what she had been thinking of.

"But..." she trailed off. "This all happened in an episode of Doctor Who."

The man tilted his head. "Doctor Who?" he said like he didn't recognise the name.

"Oh, c'mon, you have to know what Doctor Who is! I didn't think there was anyone in the UK who hasn't at least heard of that show!"

"Look, missy, I haven't heard of now Doctor Whos or whatsits. This is a real newspaper and whatever it is that happened to those people, it happened. Maybe you should get your head checked out."

She glared at the shop keeper and walked out.

This was definitely getting weird.

Her phone beeped again with a text from an unknown number.

 _How about a library? They have computers.  
_ _Love, me  
_ _xoxo_

She glared at the phone, but realised it library would actually be a good option at this point. So she did as the text said, and found the nearest public library.

* * *

First she googled 'London Walks scam?'. It had no results actually related to her situation.

Then, just for fun, she googled, 'Doctor Who'.

Just a handful of results. She clicked on them, and almost had a heart attack, as the first few sites were some kind of conspiracy websites, trying to prove that a man in a blue box was travelling in time. There were even pictures.

Haha.

This had to be some kind of a marketing tactic.

She googled Torchwood.

It received similar results.

 _'Worst kept secret in Cardiff_ ,' someone wrote on a forum.

"Jesus," Susan said out loud, and had to drop her head down as a passing librarian glared at her. "No way this is happening..."

Suddenly a horrible realisation came to her.

She had chalked it up to the public library, but in her eyes, these computers were ancient.

The lack of Doctor Who...

The search results...

Those news about the hospital...

She dug out the newspaper from her bag and laughed. She was getting a bit hysterical, she knew.

There was a date written on top of the front page, as clear as day, but simply _impossible_.

 **26th of February, 2008.**

A librarian was approaching her, so she shut her mouth. "Sorry," she whispered to the angry woman. "I'm just gonna check one phone number, I'll be out of your hair."

Susan looked it up and scribbled it on the corner of the newspaper.

She walked outside in a daze and found a bench to sit on. She dialed the number and held her breath.

"Cardiff Bay Tourist Office, can I help you?" came a cheerful reply over the phone.

Definitely a familiar voice. Welsh accent.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

Susan hung up.


	2. Stage Two: Acceptance

_"There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened."  
_  
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

 **Chapter 2: Stage Two, Acceptance**

Susan sat on that bench for at least an hour, barely moving. She only moved to put on her gloves when the cold started seeping into her fingers. But she was still holding the phone.

She stared ahead.

Finally she came to a conclusion.

If this was really happening, she had no other choice. She had no money. She had no relatives.

Even her ID was invalid, because it said she was born in 1993. Which made her in fact 15, instead of her actual age of 20.

She needed help.

"Cardiff Bay Tourist Office, can I help you?" the cheerful voice repeated it's words from an hour ago.

"Hi," she said, hesitant. "I need to talk to Jack Harkness, is he available?"

"Sorry, you must have the wrong number," Ianto lied without a pause.

Susan gritted her teeth.

"Look, Ianto, this is really fucking imporant okay?" she said. Ianto must have jerked in surprise, because there was a weird sound from the other end. "I know Jack's there. Give him the phone."

There was a silence.

"NOW!" she yelled.

She could hear footsteps, and then muffled voices.

"Captain Jack Harkness," a voice greeted her. "Hello, what can I do for _you_?"

Susan's heart missed a beat.

"Uh..." her voice betrayed her. "Wow. Shit. It's actually you," she said. She could hear her blood pumping in her ears. "I'm sorry. I didn't actually think any of this was happening, but even _my_ imagination isn't enough to make such a simple response sound so flirty."

There was a moment of silence. "Please explain."

"Okay, I was hoping that actually dialling this number would somehow wake me up from this... I don't even know if this is a nightmare or a dream," she babbled. "But somehow, I seem to have accidentally jumped realities while I wasn't looking where I stepped."

"Okay," Jack said, his voice soft. "Just, don't panic, okay? And how did you know to call me in this number?"

Susan let out a hysterical laugh. "Because it was on a TV show," she said. "Well, I had to google for it, but that's how I know. This whole universe is a TV show. You're in it, the Doctor's in it... It's called Doctor Who."

Another silence.

"I think we should continue this conversation face to face," Jack said, his voice serious. "Where are you?"

"London," Susan answered. "Just outside a public library. I barely have any money," she said, now panicking when she actually had to say it out loud. "None of my card's work."

"Look, Ianto will find you a nice place you can go eat and wait while I'll come to get you. It will take me two and half hours to drive..." Jack trailed off. "What's your name?"

"Susan," she swallowed. "Susan Friberg."

"Okay, Susan," Jack repeated. "Don't panic. I'll give the phone to Ianto, he'll let you know where you can wait for me. I'm gonna leave now, okay? I'll call you again when I'm on my way."

"Okay," Susan said. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Yeah," Jack said. She could hear a grin in his voice. "See you in a bit."

He handed the phone to Ianto, who coughed. "Let's see about that restaurant then, shall we?"

"Thanks," she said, now feeling guilty. "Sorry I yelled earlier."

"No worries," Ianto said cheerfully, like dealing with lost dimensional travellers was part of his daily routine. "Now, do you want Italian or Chinese?"

* * *

She ordered a cheap pizza and then a coffee, and managed to spent over an hour in the restaurant, but in the end she decided to relocate to the coffee shop next door so she wouldn't seem like she was loitering. Even though she obviously was.

She dialed the number for Jack's cell, the one Ianto had given her, to inform him of the change in location.

"Hello," Jack answered, "I was just about to call you, actually."

"I'm at the coffee shop across the street," she said helpfully. "I just thought you should know."

"Yeah, thanks," he said. "I'm actually there in about five minutes, so come stand outside in a bit. Just look out for a big black SUV. Says Torchwood on the side," Jack continued.

Susan smiled, and idly wondered how many speed limits he must have broken to get there in just over two hours. "Thanks, but I think I'll recognise you pretty easily."

Jack laughed. "Ya think, huh?" he asked, "We'll have to talk about this later. See you in a bit," he said, repeating her words from earlier.

"Yeah," she answered and ended the call.

She waited for a minute or two, before walking outside with her bag and donning her scarf and hat. It was starting to get dark, and way colder. She was happy Ianto had instructed her to the pizza place, she would've been frozen otherwise, even with her proper winter clothes.

Finally, a huge black SUV sped down the street, slowing to a stop just before a free parking spot on the side of the road. The headlights blinded her for a minute, and by then, it was already parked less than neatly.

The door opened, and Captain Jack Harkness stepped out.

"Wow," Susan said. She realised she was staring but she didn't care. "You... Have... The coat. Man," she shook hear head as Jack came to a stop in front of her, smiling widely. "Sorry, I'm staring, but... You look a lot like John Barrowman, who is already incredibly handsome, but you're..."

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said and held out a hand.

She stared at it.

"Susan Friberg," she repeated and finally shook the offered hand.

"Hello," Jack said, grinning at her reaction.

She realised she was still staring, and it was probably incredibly creepy, but she couldn't stop. He looked like young John Barrowman from the beginning of the series.

"Hnnh," she said.

Jack was still holding her hand.

"You okay?" Jack's grin faded.

"No," Susan said, shaking her head. "Not even a bit. I'm trying not to be so disappointed with the fact that you haven't actually flirted with me in person, but I guess it's not that much fun to flirt with a person who looks this dazed."

Jack laughed. "I seem to have a reputation," he said and guided her towards the car.

"We should head back to Cardiff," she said, trying to stay logical, instead of being hysterical again. "You must have more important things to do than watch my reality break down in pieces around me."

"That bad, huh?" Jack asked, sitting down on the driver's seat.

Susan mechanically put on her seat belt.

"Imagine you actually met Harry Potter," she said. "Or some other fictional hero. Then tell me if it's bad."

Jack looked amused. "Yeah, that might freak out most people."

"Ah," Susan said, "But it isn't even the fact that you're real. It's the fact that by the extension of you, everything else is real too. Killer robots, Venician fish-vampires, anything that wants to eat me in this fucked up reality," she continued and glanced at him. "I mean, fuck, I just met Captain Jack Harkness. That is beyond awesome. But... Things that want to eat me are a much bigger concern."

Jack didn't seem to have a reply to that.

"Do you mind I try to sleep?" she asked after a silence. "I'm pretty tired."

"If you can," Jack answered.

It confused Susan for a minute, until they got onto the highway and Jack got up to a speed way beyond the speed limits.

"If you can fly a spacecraft, you can probably drive this car without crashing," she decided after a minute, and leaned against the window.

Jack grinned. "Suit yourself."


	3. Stage Three: Coffee

" _In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."  
_ ― Robert Frost

 **Chapter 3: Stage Three, Coffee**

Susan must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, she was rolling over and falling off a sofa.

"Umph," she grunted and turned to lay on her back on the hard floor.

Susan stared at the ceiling. She had just had the weirdest, most realistic dream ever.

In the dream she'd been in London. Her tourist group has vanished, and she's somehow ended up in the Doctor Who universe, penniless and panicking. Then she had gotten the bright idea of calling Torchwood Cardiff, after which Jack Harkness himself had rescued her off the streets of London like she was some kind of kicked puppy. She says puppy, instead of a damsel in distress, because despite the way her dreams usually worked, there had been no actual romantic intentions between the two of them.

Not even a kiss.

"What a crazy dream," Susan said absently.

"Are you all right?" a voice full of beautiful Welsh vowels asked. The owner of the voice in question was currently casting a shadow on top of her.

Susan looked up.

"Oh," she said and blinked.

Ianto Jones was looking down at her, an amused expression on his face. He was holding a tray of coffee mugs on his hands.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?" she asked, already knowing the answer. There was a sudden feeling of dread in the pit her stomach.

"No." The answer came from Jack. Susan had to crane her neck around to see him, because he was standing somewhere behind her, leaning against the stone wall.

"Jack," she greeted. "Hi, sorry, I'd shake your hand again, but I seem to be on the floor."

Jack stepped away from the wall and offered his hand to her. She took it, and he lifted her up. To her surprise, her knees didn't give up beneath her.

"Thanks," she said and sat back on the sofa, just in case. "This is still really weird."

"It isn't exactly normal for us either," Ianto said with a kind smile.

Jack nodded in agreement.

"Sorry, yeah, of course not," Susan said. "I'm probably freaking you out by freaking out," she said. "I should stop."

"Would you like some coffee?" Ianto asked.

She squinted at the two coffee cups on his tray. "Any of those have any sugar in them?"

"Sorry," he shook his head. "These are for Jack and our resident doctor, Owen. He's in the medical bay. Just tell me what your preferences are and I'll bring you one in a moment."

"You know... I'm actually like tea more than coffee," Susan said slowly. Then she grinned. "But if it's coffee made by Ianto Jones? It would be sacrilege to say no."

Ianto grinned back, and Susan could see a hint of pink on his cheeks. He was blushing! Too cute.

Ianto soon disappeared to give Owen his coffee, which left Jack standing there in front of her.

"I think an explanation is in order," Jack said. "Would you like to talk privately, or can my team hear this too?"

Susan watched his face for a minute. "It should be okay," she said, shrugging, "Actually, I wouldn't mind Toshiko Sato's opinion on the situation, anyway." Susan knew Tosh was a genius. She might not have been a Time Lady, or an alien, but she was brilliant.

Jack smiled, pleased. "Come on, I'll show you to the conference room."

–

Seeing the conference room was quite an overwhelming experience. Susan had tried to look around the Hub as much as she could as they walked to the room, and even the little glimpses she caught kinda made her want to curl up in the corner and scream. It was amazing, and it was definitely real.

That was the problem. It wasn't supposed to be real.

"You okay?" Jack asked, after the third time Susan passed him in the room. She'd been unconsciously circling the table while waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.

"Yeah, sure," Susan said with a small laugh, coming to a stop at the end of the table and sitting down. "If you ignore the fact that I'm in fact standing in a fictional place talking to a fictional character."

Jack gave her a concerned look and she shrugged.

"It's going to take some time to get used to. Last night I was like, really tired so I didn't pay much attention," Susan said, glancing at him. "But now I can say for sure there is no way this is a dream. I mean, I'm a huge Woodie, but even I don't know the layout of the Hub well enough to come up with all this detail."

"Woodie?" Jack asked, his lips curled in an amused smile.

"Ah," Susan said, wringing her hands. "Torchwood fan."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to tell this story more times than I have to, so-" she stopped suddenly, because the remaining members of the Torchwood team came walking through the door.

First was Dr. Owen Harper, who grumbled something about his work being interrupted. He sat on the seat at the end of the table.

Then, Toshiko Sato, who initiated eye contact and gave a small nod to Susan before sitting down next to Owen.

Then Gwen Cooper, who looked more confused than anything, and sat on the seat facing Owen.

Ianto was last, and he sat down on the seat facing Jack.

Suddenly Susan was finding it very hard to breathe.

"All right, we're all here because of very peculiar circumstances. We have someone who seems to be a dimension traveler in our midst," Jack said, motioning to her, "Susan Friberg. She says that one second she was walking in her London, and then just appeared in _our_ London, with no warning."

"Seriously?" Owen asked, frowning, giving her a suspicious glance.

"Fascinating," Toshiko muttered, writing something down on her notepad.

"Are you sure, Jack?" Gwen asked. "That is a lot to take in. How does she even know anything is different?"

Susan blinked at her, then turned to look at Jack.

"That's why she wanted to speak to all of us," Jack explained, "Apparently it has something to do with Torchwood..."

Susan was still trying not to stare at new people in the room, but she realised Jack was giving her an opening to talk.

"Umm," she started hesitantly, "So in my universe there is this scifi TV show called Doctor Who. It's super popular, it was first broadcast in the 60's. It's about this alien who travels in time and place and has amazing adventures," she explained. Jack's expression didn't waver. "And then later, in the 21st century, they were sorta continuing the TV show, and they made this character who was really popular. And they decided to give him his own spin-off series. His name was Captain Jack Harkness."

The team's expressions collectively changed and they all turned around wide eyed to stare at Jack.

"What the hell?" Owen broke the silence.

"The show was called Torchwood," Susan continued quickly, "It's about this agency that manages alien life on Earth. More specifically, it focuses on their Cardiff Branch," she said and shrugged. "Sorry to let you know like this, but you're all in it."

"No way," Gwen commented. "That is insane."

Susan shrugged.

"Can you prove it?" Owen asked.

"Sure," Susan said, "If you want me to. But I have to warn you, I know stuff about you guys you probably wouldn't want a complete stranger like me knowing."

Jack held up his hand, stopping the conversation.

"Maybe it's best if you tell us something about me," Jack said, "I don't think anyone here wants their dirty laundry put out in the open if they don't have to."

"Fine by me," Susan said, and the others nodded. "Hmm, let me think." She stared at Jack for a moment, trying to come up with something that wouldn't totally destroy his relationship with the team.

"Quite a while ago," Susan said, giving him a pointed look implying she knew exactly how long ago that had been, "You lost a bit of your memory," she said. "Two years, I think. The Agency was behind it."

Jack narrowed his eyes at her. The eye contact lasted a bit longer than Susan felt comfortable with.

Then Jack nodded.

"Not that many people know that about me," Jack agreed. "For now, we'll have to assume you're speaking the truth."

Susan let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks," she said, "I really don't want to get on your bad side. Any of you." She took a look around the table, then turned back to Jack. "Uh, also, that might explain why I've been acting so weirdly, this is basically any fangirl's dream come true. If you don't count the fact that all kind of monsters are real and out there ready to eat me."

Owen snorted, which made Gwen glare at him.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Gwen asked, "It must be quite a shock. Your parents must be worried to death."

"Eh," Susan shrugged, "I guess. I mean, I'm not dead yet, so I'd say I'm doing pretty well. And considering I've just met some of my favourite fictional heroes of all time and managed not to faint, I'm not doing too shabby."

"We'll get her back home, right Jack?" Gwen asked, concern coloring her voice. "She can't just stay here."

Jack glanced from Gwen to Susan. "Well..."

"If the rift is responsible for bringing me here, I'm never going to get home," Susan said, startling the rest of the team. "I know that for a fact. It just doesn't happen." She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "And if it was something else, well... Who knows?"

"Don't you want to go back?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not particularly," Susan said and shrugged at the incredulous expressions around the table. "Look, I'm probably still in shock. But if I can choose between living in a world with fucking time travel and aliens, and one where those things most certainly don't exist, why would I pick home?"

The team was silent. Susan got a feeling most of them agreed with her.

Except Gwen. "But what about your parents?" she asked, "Your friends, your home and your old life? Don't you want to see them again?"

Susan looked at her, feeling a bit annoyed. "Look, not that it's any of your business, but I'm not that close with my parents. I had a boring job in a shitty firm, and a cramped apartment, and I had more acquaintances than friends. I can have most of those things here, if I wish."

Jack nodded and swapped glances with Toshiko. "It's your decision. We can look into it, but..."

"You're right, it's very unlikely you'll get back to your universe, even if you did come across another rift like that," Toshiko said, her brow furrowed in deep thought. "There are just so many possible parallel universes. It would be suicide to just jump into one of them."

"Well, that settles it then," Susan said and stood up. "Now, I'm dying for a tour of this place."

"Of course, Ianto will show you around," Jack said, grinning. "After your done, come to my office, I want to speak with you in private."


	4. Stage Four: Actually coffee

" _Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."_

― Helen Keller, The Open Door

 **Chapter 4: Stage Four, Actually Coffee**

"Man, I never knew that," Susan said, climbing up the stairs from the vault. At the top of the stairs she turned around to face her escort. "Thanks for showing me around, Ianto, that was awesome."

Ianto smiled faintly. "It was a pleasure, we don't get visitors often." He took out his pocket watch and glanced at the time. "But I believe it's time to feed Janet." He gestured towards the main area of the Hub. "Jack is waiting for you in his office. Do you think you can find your way there by yourself?"

"Sure," Susan said. "Thanks again."

Ianto waved her off and she made her way past Toshiko and Owen, who were looking at something on the computers. She glanced curiously at the two of them, but didn't stop since Jack was waiting for her and the tour had already taken quite a while.

Since the door was open, she knocked on the window that was working as a wall. Susan had always wondered how someone could work in an office that was basically made of windows. But if someone could, it would be Jack.

Jack looked up from the paperwork and gestured for her to step inside.

"Hi again," Susan said, grinning. She was feeling particularly giddy for some reason, standing in front of the actual Captain Jack Harkness. The fangirl in her must have woken up again during the tour of the Hub.

"Hello," Jack said, with a smile of his own. "Please, sit. You're making me nervous."

"Really?" she squeaked, falling on the chair. "Sorry, I don't mean to be too creepy. I'm just starting to realise this might actually be real since I haven't woken up yet or started flying all over the place or something."

Jack laughed. "Do you have dreams like this often?"

Susan wrung her hands nervously, trying not to stare too much. "Well, I watch a lot of TV and read way too many fics-" She stopped herself, horrified at herself for even mentioning it. Jack raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I kinda obsess over stuff I like... And I have super realistic dreams, so I've basically dreamt about every fictional character at one time or another."

"Any dreams about me?" Jack asked, resting his chin on his hand.

Susan blinked in surprise. "Uhhh. I'm not sure. They kind of fade away after a few days. But I do know I've dreamt about meeting the guy who plays you in Torchwood like, five times," she said and laughed awkwardly. "I have actually seen him twice in real life, but never talked to him. But I guess all of that pales in contrast of actually meeting you."

"Does it?" Jack asked.

"Definitely!" Susan exclaimed, nodding. "You're my favourite companion, after Donna."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'm not even number one?"

Susan raised an eyebrow back at him. "You're good, but trust me, after you meet Donna, you'll agree with me. She's really awesome."

Jack sat back in his chair, his eyes glinting. "So I will meet him again?"

Susan slapped her hand to her mouth, eyes widening. "You!" she pointed a finger at Jack's smug face. "You tricked me into telling you spoilers!"

Jack put up his hand in defeat.

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" Susan grumbled, crossing her arms.

"Sorry," Jack shrugged, not looking sorry at all. "I needed to know. I've been waiting for a while."

"You're not sorry," Susan said, but then grimaced. "But you shouldn't be, not really. You could have just asked me, you know. I know I shouldn't give out spoilers, but I wouldn't just leave you hanging like that."

"Really?" Jack asked his tone unreadable, "You would have told me?"

"Yeah," she said. "I knew the Doctor could be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but it was really uncool of him to leave you like that. He should have come back for you. Although..." She trailed off, thoughtfully.

"Although?" Jack asked, leaning in.

"He did regenerate straight after," Susan said, "It's possible his memories of the previous regeneration were still a bit muddled. But he should have come back for you after he remembered. He can travel in time, after all."

Jack nodded, looking thoughtful.

"But what do I know?" Susan snorted, "It's possible he did have an actual reason apart from being a jerk. I'm just a fangirl with too much time in her hands."

Jack shook his head, "Whatever you were before, it's changed now. You should remember that as long as you are here."

"Yeah," Susan said, grimacing. "I can't go around spewing out spoilers. Ugh."

"Ah, Ianto, you're back," Jack grinned, and Susan turned around to see Ianto standing at the door way, holding a tray with two mugs of coffee.

"Is the other one for me?" Susan said, her eyes widening. "Please tell me it's for me."

Ianto smirked, "It's for you."

He handed Jack and Susan a mug each and tucked the tray under his arm.

Susan stared at the mug of coffee in her hands, and took a sip. "Mmmm, no wonder people call this coffee orgasmic," she muttered. "This is heavenly."

Ianto spluttered and Jack was so startled he started coughing, having just taken a sip of his coffee.

Susan cringed, "Oops, did I say that out loud?"

Jack laughed so much his eyes watered. "Glad to meet someone who appreciates Ianto's coffee skills as much as I do!"

Ianto's cheeks blushed dark.

Susan shrugged, "Well, his coffee is legendary. It basically has its own fandom, too."

"Your world certainly sounds interesting," Jack said, still grinning, "Sounds like they truly appreciate our Ianto."

Susan glanced at the two of them. "Oh, trust me, you have no idea." Ianto and Jack were a legendary pairing, one that could probably rival Spock and Kirk. It was hard to find someone who didn't ship the two of them. Not to mention the whole shrine the fans build in Cardiff Bay after Ianto's death...

She frowned at the thought, but then smiled. "Anyway, thanks for the coffee, Ianto, you're a sweetheart."

Ianto nodded, "You're welcome." He gave Jack a look. "I'll leave you two to it."

Susan waited until Ianto was out of earshot, then raised an inquiring eyebrow at Jack. "So, tell me, have you two done it yet?"

Jack almost choked on his coffee again. "Done it?" he laughed, "What are you, eleven?"

Susan swagged her eyebrows. "So have you?"

"Why do you need to know?" Jack said, smirking.

"I'd like to know at which point of your timeline I am," Susan said shrugging, "I roughly know what point of the Doctor's timeline this is, but I don't have much to go on you guys."

"And you thought the best way to find out was to ask if I've shagged Ianto?" Jack asked, amused.

"Yes," Susan deadpanned.

"Well," Jack shrugged, amused, "I guess that's one way to look at things."

"Well, have you?" Susan continued.

"We've dabbled," Jack said, suddenly guarded. "There has been some tension after Lisa..."

Susan nodded, grimacing. "Yeah, that sucks. Well, what was your last case?"

"Is it really relevant?" Jack asked, frowning.

"I want to know where I am," Susan said, frowning back at him. "Well, _when_ I am."

Jack sighed, rubbing his forehead. "About a week ago we had a couple of accidental time travelers from the 50's. It was hard. They didn't really adapt that well."

"Out of Time, huh?" Susan muttered. "That means Combat is next."

"Combat?" Jack asked, "Sounds ominous."

"Well," Susan tilted her head, "It's weevils. But you should keep an eye on Owen, he's in a bad place right now."

"I'll do that," Jack said, nodding.

"By the way," Susan said absently, "Have you seen my bag? I asked Ianto and he said you might have it."

Jack ducked his head and coughed, "Well, yes, I was just keeping it safe..."

"Meaning you snooped," Susan said, not impressed.

Jack tried to grin charmingly, but it was ineffective. "Ermmhh, yeah," he muttered and picked her bag from the floor. "Here you go," he said and threw the bag to her. She caught it, still glowering at him. Jack sighed, "Look, I needed to make sure that you had nothing dangerous in there."

Susan's expression softened, but then she scowled. "You think I would carry a weapon or something?" she asked. "No way. Weapons are for bad guys, I support the Doctor's policy of no guns."

Jack tried to look solemn, but a grin made its way to his lips. "I guessed," he said, holding out the replica of Eleventh Doctor's sonic. "It looks suspiciously like a sonic screwdriver, except it doesn't work."

Susan blushed and snatched it back. "It's a fan replica," she said, "We don't have the kind of technology to make a working one. Although I do have a theory it wouldn't be so hard if..." She stopped herself before she could start rambling, "Well, I guess I might find out a way some day, now that I'm here."

Jack nodded in agreement.

"Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Ooh, this could be a little more sonic?'" Susan parroted at him, waving the sonic at his face. "Here's your answer: I would."

Jack let out a laugh and raised up his hands in defeat, "Hey, I can see the usefulness now."

"I bet you can," Susan said, showing her tongue at him, "After it saved your ass a few times."

Jack gave her a playful look, "It is an ass worth saving, don't you think?"

"You're so full of it!" Susan laughed. "But... yes."


	5. Stage Five: Hello, it's me

" _Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."_

― Søren Kierkegaard

 **Chapter 5: Stage Five, Hello, it's me**

Susan wandered through the Hub, until she came across Toshiko's work station. Since Tosh was sitting alone, Susan didn't feel too bad about interrupting her work.

"Umm," Susan started, biting her lip, as Toshiko looked up. "Jack said you could help me with some stuff? I mean, you could make me some kind of birth certificates and ID's so I can get a job and stuff?"

Toshiko smiled. "Of course. Hand me your ID?" Susan did, and Toshiko continued to speak while she typed. "We always help the rift refugees. And I guess, since you don't really exist here, we can use your real name too."

Susan's mood suddenly darkened. "Idon'twanttousemyrealname," she muttered.

Tosh blinked. "What?"

Susan smiled sheepishly. "I said, I don't want to use my real name," she said, slowly this time.

Toshiko raised her eyebrows. "Why not? What's wrong with your name?"

"Well, for starters, I've always wanted to change it. Now that I have a free opportunity to do so, why not?" she said and grinned. "I was thinking something like Amelia Pond. It's like a name in a fairytale, don't you think?"

Toshiko blinked and nodded. "I guess."

Susan stared at her for a moment before an understanding expression came upon her face. "Right," she muttered. "All of my jokes are going to waste here. Even the lamest ones."

A silence followed.

"I don't understand," Toshiko said slowly.

Susan sighed and rose up. "Don't worry, neither does anyone else. Maybe just go with Susan Friberg after all," she said, and froze. "Oh, and one more thing. I saw an election poster outside, could you print me off any information you have about Harold Saxon?"

"That is a weird request, but sure," Tosh said, typed in something, clicked a few buttons and waited for the printer to work. Then she handed a thin pile of papers to Susan. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Tosh," she said and started to walk towards the kitchens, "You're a sweetheart!"

Susan grinned as she crossed the threshold.

"Ah, Ianto, just the man I wanted to see!" she exclaimed happily and clapped her hands together. Ianto, who was currently leaning against the kitchen counter and sipping his coffee, raised his eyebrow at her.

Susan sniffed the air and stared at Ianto. Or more precisely, at his coffee cup. Ianto followed the line of her gaze and seemed to get the idea. "You want me to make you another cup of coffee?" he inquired.

"I knew you would understand!" Susan exclaimed and beamed, patting him on his shoulder. Her hand stayed on his shoulder a moment too long, but then she hastily removed it and turned around. "I'll be sitting on the couch," she said without looking back, and disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Ianto just stood there with the coffee cup in one hand, and the other hand touching the spot on his shoulder Susan's hand had touched. ' _That was strange,_ ' he thought, confused. ' _For some reason I feel like she was apologizing for something._ '

He shook his head and started grinding the coffee beans.

Ten minutes later Ianto headed towards the couch with a hot cup of coffee in his hands. But what he saw surprised him so much that he stopped and stared in silence. The girl who just a few minutes earlier had been so excited and friendly was now sitting on the black leather couch reading a piece of paper with a solemn expression on her face, biting her lip and tugging her hair nervously. Something was obviously weighing on her.

"Here's your coffee," Ianto said, stopping in front of her. Susan looked up, and for a moment she looked like the frightened girl lost in a different world that she was. But the moment was gone so quickly that Ianto thought he had imagined the whole thing. Her happy facade was up again and she grinned widely, taking the coffee from his hands.

"Thank you, Jones, Ianto Jones," she said and winked as Ianto was startled by her choice of words. "I'm sure you have better things to do than making me coffee, so you can go back to work now," she said, still grinning.

Ianto eyed her for a moment and nodded politely. "Tell me if you need anything."

"Yeah," Susan said absentmindedly and looked down at the papers on her lap.

Walking away, Ianto Jones realized something. The expression on Susan's face had been distantly familiar to him, and no wonder - he had seen it in the mirror every day for months since he'd first started working for Torchwood. It was the same expression he had been wearing when he had been hiding a Cyberman in the Hub's cellar. That girl had something to hide, and it was something big.

* * *

Susan sighed and lowered down the piece of paper in her hands. Things were starting to get truly complicated. Firstly, just the fact the she knew about the future through Doctor Who and Torchwood was dangerous. Susan realised she would have to handle her knowledge with care.

 _'But then stuff like this happens,'_ Susan mused and looked down at the paper. It was a recent news article about certain Minister of Defence. Harold Saxon had recently visited his old high school accompanied by his stepsister, Susan Williams. Apparently, she was related to Mr. Saxon by her fathers side.

There was a picture. It was of Harold Saxon shaking hands with his old Headmaster, and Susan Williams standing next to the pair. Susan Williams just happened to bear resemblance to one Susan Friberg.

There was no way this was a coincidence. It had to be her future self. But how?

Susan was sure that just by reading the article, she was creating a paradox. Because if she hadn't gone completely bonkers, then this meant she would somehow meet the Master and become either his accomplice or his prisoner. And neither choice seemed too appealing to her. _Oh joy._

"Is everything okay?" Jack asked, startling her. He had quietly moved to stand in front of her.

Susan looked up. "Yeah," she said and grinned. "Why do you ask?"

Jack eyed her for a moment. "Ianto mentioned that something might be bothering you," he said. Susan just raised her left eyebrow sceptically at him. "It's true, I swear," Jack said, thinking back to earlier that day.

* * *

He was sitting at his desk in his office, occasionally glancing through the glass walls to ensure that nothing strange was going on in the Hub and that their new guest wasn't causing too much trouble. He had some paperwork to do, but since Jack loathed paperwork, he was trying find something else to do instead. At the times like these he sometimes hoped that something would happen to take his mind off the things going trough his head. Like the Doctor, for example.

Jack often thought about the Doctor. The Doctor had abandoned him alone on the Satellite Five, ankle deep in Dalek dust and unable to die permanently. He often wondered of the Doctor had known that, or if he had just thought that Jack was dead. But then there came the question, why didn't the Doctor even return to collect his body? Maybe Susan's theory about the regeneration did have some truth to it.

No matter what, Jack missed the Doctor. Sure, for the first hundred of years he had been mad at him, but he missed him all the same. He was just so... exciting. And of course, he was gorgeous in his leather jacket glory and all, even if those ears were just ridiculous. He was attracted to the Doctor. So what? Jack wasn't one to deny something like that. Jack idly wondered what the Doctor looked like now.

And now that the rift had finally fulfilled his wishes and sent him a distraction in a form of a young woman, she had just made Jack think about the Doctor even more than usual. There was a TV show called Doctor Who. Sure, the name was a bit strange, but it fit. He had himself thought "Doctor Who?" a few times. He'd often wondered what the Doctor would say if he asked him the question in private. Jack wondered if the girl knew the answer...

No, he decided, shaking his head. He wouldn't ask Susan about the Doctor again. It wouldn't be fair to her, considering her knowledge might well change the timelines and cause a disaster, for which she would surely feel responsible for.

But there was also the other TV show, this time called Torchwood. And it was about his whole team. This one he was more interesting to him, as Susan really seemed to know his whole team very well because of it, not just Jack or the Doctor. It was possible she even knew a lot about Owen, who was the hardest one to read out of the team. It was very probable she also knew when his team died, and if their deaths were by Torchwood. Jack didn't want to think about it, so he glanced down at the paperwork. Ugh.

Just then, the gods that Jack didn't believe in, sent him a saving angel in the form of Ianto Jones.

"Sir?" Ianto enquired from the doorway, a tray filled with two cups of coffee in his delicate hands.

Jack smiled gratefully at Ianto and nodded him to come inside. Ianto set the tray on his desk, that amazing as it was, wasn't covered in papers. Maybe some of Ianto's tidiness was rubbing off on him.

Jack took the blue striped mug in his hands and leaned back in his chair, looking at Ianto. "What brings you here, Ianto?" he asked offhandedly with a smug smile, "Besides me, of course."

Ianto's expression didn't change, but there was an amused sparkle in his eyes. He shook his head and tried to cool down the coffee in his hand. The silence lasted for a few minutes while Ianto tried to think of the right words to say.

"I think that something is bothering Susan," he said and looked down at his coffee.

Jack raised his eyebrows at that. To his knowledge the girl seemed to be mostly happy to be here, and optimistic too. Had something happened during her stay in the Hub?

Jack noted the serious expression Ianto's face. "Is that so?" he asked, his expression slowly sobering.

Ianto nodded, still not making eye contact. "Yes. There was something about her expression that I recognised from the time..." he trailed of for a few seconds and swallowed. "From the time I was keeping Lisa here."

"So you think she's hiding something from us?" Jack asked. Ianto nodded. Now, that definitely sparked Jack's interest. Jack hoped that it wouldn't turn out to be anything as dangerous as the Cyberman.

"I suppose I could talk with her," Jack said thoughtfully. "But don't expect miracles. If she's worrying about the future, there's really nothing we can do about it."

Ianto nodded. "Just do your best, sir."

* * *

"Jack? Earth to Jack," Susan said, waving his hand before Jack's eyes.

Jack stared back at the girl who looked amused and a bit mischievous. To her credit, Susan had been imagining something like the two of them kissing and a hastily muttered, 'I'm worried about the girl', so no wonder if she was feeling a bit giggly.

Jack rolled his eyes at Susan's expression, yet smiled at her at the same time. "He's just worried about you, said that you looked troubled," Jack said.

Susan furrowed her brows thoughtfully. "Do I look worried?" It's not very good thing to look worried if one wants to blend in. Probably.

"Not really," Jack stated. "But as I said to him, if you're worried, you're probably thinking about future and your knowledge. Right?" he asked.

Susan swallowed and turned her eyes away. "Well yeah," she said. "But you know that I can't tell you much about it."

Jack shrugged, "I could take some retcon after you told me."

Susan's eyes widened at the suggestion, but soon she just grimaced and eyed Jack with a dark expression on her face. "You wouldn't take it," she said quietly.

Jack narrowed her eyes at that. "What do you mean?"

Susan just looked at him with a unreadable expression and a strange glint in her eyes. "You wouldn't take the retcon after I told you about it. There is no way you would do it, even if you promised," she said and looked straight into Jack's eyes. Then she turned away. "No one would."

* * *

Jack promised that they would send her a new ID and all the necessary papers in the mail, matching her old ones as well as they could, since no Susan Friberg existed in their reality. Susan could live in shared accommodation funded by the government and receive a monthly grant until she could find a job to get her back on her feet. Jack even gave her a black credit card with the Torchwood logo on it. He said it was for the necessary things like clothes and furniture she would need to purchase to get settled in.

Ianto gave her a phone number she should call every two weeks to check in with them, and another one for emergencies of the more alien nature. Just in case.

And when Ianto wasn't looking, Jack added another phone number into her contacts and winked at her. Susan took that to mean that it was Jack's phone number and she could call him if she felt like it.

To her disappointment, she wasn't allowed to visit the Hub every day, because she didn't actually work for them and it could get too dangerous. Susan grumbled at that but didn't complain, as she was sure that the team would be plenty busy without her watching their every move. Jack did promise her that she could visit soon, though.

As she said her goodbyes to the team, Jack offered to ride her to her new home.

The ride was spent in a comfortable silence, until they stopped at the lights and someone knocked on the window Susan's side. She rolled it down. A courier handed her a package and took of without a word.

She blinked, and looked at Jack, who looked equally baffled.

"Well, open it," Jack said, glancing at her while still keeping an eye on the traffic.

Susan tore open the package, finding a messenger bag made of dark leather, and a handwritten note.

It read as follows:

 _Hello there!_

 _The thought probably already crossed your mind, after all those texts I sent, and what you found out  
_ _about Saxon but..._ _I am currently writing to myself. Isn't that mad? I thought you might need certain things  
_ _on your travels. Well, to be more precise, I knew you were going to need them, so I sent them to you.  
_ _Don't worry, it's not really a paradox. It's more like a... self-fulfilling prophecy. I remember reading  
_ _this note, so I know what to write. And I got my own personal items in the mail too, so I knew what  
_ _I needed to keep out an eye for. And no, I'm not telling you where I found them. Except for the screwdriver.  
_ _It's actually the same replica that you have in your old bag. I just had some changes made by an evil villain.  
_ _You know which one I mean. Attached to this note is a brief guide to using it. And sorry, I can't tell you  
_ _everything about it. There are some things you have to find out by yourself._

 _Don't worry too much. Although I know you will, so this really isn't helping._

 _Anyway..._

 _The bag is, what I call, a Mary Poppins bag. It's bigger on the inside. Time lord technology, I'd reckon.  
_ _At least from looking at it. It really is an old bag. I'd suggest you to start carrying your most important  
_ _possessions in it, and taking it everywhere you go. If you don't, well, then you're screwed.  
_ _Because you never know what's going to happen when you step out of that door, right?_

 _Oh, and one more thing. Look out for the Angels._

 _Give Jack a kiss from me,  
_ _\- SF_

After she finished reading it and the implications of the text hit her, Susan realised she'd been holding her breath and gasped for air. She was going to go with the Master, probably willingly, but before that she was going to meet one of the Weeping Angels.

"Shit," she said, her chest heaving and feeling like she might throw up, "Shit, shit, **shit**!"

Jack looked at her, concerned and alarmed, "Do you need for me to pull over?"

"No," she said, getting her breathing under control, "No, it's okay... Fuck."

"Who is it from?" Jack asked, glancing at the letter.

"Me," Susan said, scowling, "It's from me."

"What?!" Jack exclaimed, almost swerving into the oncoming traffic, "I thought there was no other you in this reality?"

"There isn't," Susan said, groaning, "It's from future me. Apparently I somehow end up time traveling. She told me to keep all my important belongings in this bag and always take it with me wherever I go." She raised the bag so Jack could see it. "It's bigger on the inside."

"Oh," Jack said, his eyes widening at the implications.

Susan nodded. "Indeed." She waved the letter around and raised an eyebrow. "She also told me to give you a kiss."

Jack grinned at her. "Well?"

Susan ducked her head, trying not to blush. "Maybe later."

Jack shrugged. "Your loss."

After five minutes, they stopped in front of the accommodations, and Jack got up from the car to give her a hug. "Be safe, okay?" he said, "You have my number, use it."

"Thanks," Susan said, flustered.

"Did the note give you any hints as to when you'll be travelling?"

"There wasn't much to go on," Susan said, hugging both shoulder bags to her side and trying not to give anything away. "There were some small hints but nothing precise."

"Well, keep in touch as long as you're here," Jack said, "I could always use someone to talk to who... knows about me."

Susan crunched up her nose and frowned, "Your team doesn't know yet, right? That sucks, I'm sorry."

"Yet?" Jack asked, "So I'll tell them?"

"I'm not sure how much you actually tell them," Susan said hesitantly, unsure of how much she could divulge, "But they will find out about your... unique abilities."

"Right." Jack nodded. "Well, it's time for me to go. Call me." He waved.

"Bye, Jack," Susan said. After the black car had disappeared into the traffic, she turned around to face the large, drab looking building. "Home, sweet home."


	6. Stage Six: Moving On

_"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times."_

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

 **Chapter 6: Stage Five, Moving On**

To say Susan was conflicted would be a huge understatement.

Just days ago, she had found out that she was in fact stranded in the Doctor Who universe and all those people and aliens whose lives she had followed on telly were completely, utterly real.

And as if that wasn't enough, she had received evidence in the form of a picture and a mysterious note, that her future self had gone gallivanting with the universe's equivalent of the Dark Lord, and was now posing as the stepsister of the said Dark Lord. Harold Saxon's stepsister.

Although the Master wasn't actually completely evil when compared to the likes of Voldemort. He was more like a person down on their luck against the universe, such as Anakin Skywalker, who had been good until he got unhinged because of his visions and had later been manipulated by Palpatine. Just like the young Darth Vader, the Master had been driven insane by something he couldn't control, the sound of drums in his head. Which just happened to be a signal sent by the High Council and that bastard Rassilon through the Untempered Schism, reaching the Master through time and space, slowly making him insane.

The heartbeat of a Time Lord.

As Susan settled in to her new apartment, she decided that the best way to deal with what was happening would be to accept it for now without over thinking it. Despite her knowledge about this universe's future, she couldn't see her own personal future and had no way of knowing how she ended up with the Master. Who knows, maybe the dude kidnapped her.

For now it was best to just assume that somehow, she would meet either the Doctor, or the Master. And there was a 99% chance it had to do with the Weeping Angels. If she started worrying too much about it, she was going to go insane with worry.

So she pushed the issue aside for a while, and took a closer look at the leather bag she'd received in the mail. As she opened it, she indeed found a sonic screwdriver, modeled after the Eleventh Doctor's own. There was a post-it note attached to it.

"This is indeed a real sonic screwdriver, but it isn't just sonic," she read out. "Check the manual?"

Susan frowned and dug her hand inside the bag, feeling for something that would closely resemble a manual. She found a tiny leather notebook with handwritten instructions on some of the functions of the sonic. On the first page it said in large, bold letters:

 **ISOMORPHIC SONIC & LASER SCREWDRIVER: THE MANUAL**.

Susan's eyebrows floated up to her hairline.

Oh boy.

* * *

She read the manual, and found that the instructions weren't as complicated as she'd feared. It only took an afternoon of trying and failing to get the basic principles of the thing down and memorize them.

Susan had read the note from her future self over and over again, and decided that it was better be safe than sorry, so she did as the note commanded and started carrying most of her belongings with her, including most of the clothes. The bag seemed to be bottomless and could easily hold several wardrobes worth of clothes.

Few weeks later, still unsuccessful in her search of a job, Susan made a surprise visit to Torchwood Three. She did her best to sneak past the cameras, even though she wasn't sure where every single one of them is located, and made her way into the tourist office without anyone stopping her.

To her surprise, the office was empty and silent.

Susan stood awkwardly around for a few minutes, looking at the brochures and waiting for Ianto to pop out of the back room or through the secret door, but nothing happened. She frowned, and walked behind the desk to reach the button that swings open the secret passage.

The corridor was equally empty. Susan shrugged. What harm could it do? She was just visiting. It's not like she hadn't been to the Hub before, after all. And she didn't even bring any unsuspecting friends with her.

As she took the lift down, Susan tried to listen for any sound of the team, in case they were just messing around and about to jump on her. But there was nothing. She swallowed nervously and pushed down on the button to open the cog-wheel door. It opened with its signature noise, announcing her arrival to the Torchwood Cardiff team.

But nobody greeted her. The whole Hub was silent.

"Uh, anybody here?" Susan called out at the doorway. "Jack? Ianto? ... Owen?"

She braved inside the Hub and looked around. Owen's workspace was empty, as was Jack's office. She couldn't hear anything except for the soothing sound of the waterfall.

"You shouldn't be here," Ianto said from somewhere behind her, scaring the shit out of her.

"Oh my god," Susan said, and grinned with her hand at her chest. "Don't creep on me like that." She turned around, and her grin vanished at the sight of Ianto's tired and tear streaked face. Her hand fell down beside her. "Ianto?"

"Hello, Susan," Ianto greeted her.

"Are you okay?" Susan said, frowning at the tired man. "What's going on? Where is everyone?"

"Jack's dead," Ianto said and headed towards the kitchen, leaving Susan gaping at his retreating back.

"What?" Susan said, running after him, "But he's..."

"It's permanent this time," Ianto droned and started cleaning the kitchen counter, not looking at her. "The Abaddon sucked the life force out of him. It's been a few days now."

" _Oh_." Susan swallowed, biting her lip. She didn't know what to say. She had no idea the timeline had progressed so quickly. It wouldn't be long before Jack left with the Doctor. "Uh, where are the others?"

Ianto glanced at her. "Gwen's downstairs," he said and pursed his lips, clearly in irritation. "She insisted on staying at his side." Ianto obviously wanted some privacy with Jack. "I don't know where Tosh and Owen are."

At that moment, Toshiko appeared at the kitchen's doorway. "Ianto, I was wondering-" she said, and stopped, noticing Susan. "Oh, hello Susan. How are you?"

Susan narrowed her eyes. "Don't even ask me," she said, frowning. "Are you okay?"

Toshiko stilled, suddenly looking like she must have actually felt like. "I'm okay," she said quietly, looking down. "I just came up from the morgue."

Susan blinked. "With Gwen?"

"She's still not leaving," Toshiko said, shaking her head. "I was hoping to persuade her."

Something about the image of Gwen and Toshiko down at the morgue made Susan wonder... Oh. Right. If she remembered correctly, Jack was about to wake up.

"Guys," Susan said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "You should have called me."

"We didn't want to trouble you," Ianto explained, putting some dishes away into a cabinet. "You have enough troubles." Toshiko nodded in agreement.

"No, you don't get it," Susan said, groaning. "Jack's going to be okay."

Ianto dropped a plate. It shattered on the floor. "What?" he breathed, turning around.

"He's going to be okay!" Susan said, glancing from Ianto to Toshiko, who were both staring at her with wide eyes. "He's gonna wake up any moment. Actually, it shouldn't be long now."

Toshiko and Ianto swapped glances, and ran past her out of the kitchen. Susan sighed and followed them.

The sight that greeted her was like straight from the TV show. Gwen and Jack appeared hand in hand from the direction of the morgue. Toshiko and Ianto stopped in their tracks, and just stared, both their eyes watering at the sight. Toshiko was the first to move, running straight into Jack's arms and giving him a bear hug.

Next was Ianto, who waited for Toshiko to let go. Then he promptly kissed jack. It was a very sweet, chaste kiss. It made Susan squee internally. She really wished she'd taken out her camera.

Then, Owen returned from where ever he'd been, carrying a tool kit, which he almost dropped as he saw Jack. Jack gave him a hug too, and Susan could swear he heard Owen let out a quiet sniffle.

Susan let them have their moment, and only approached Jack when everyone seemed to be content with just watching Jack stand there.

"Captain," Susan said, saluting him as she walked towards the team.

"Susan," Jack said, giving her a tired but genuine smile.

"No hug for me?" She teased, crossing her arms.

Jack smiled ruefully, and engulfed Susan in a bear hug. She grinned and hugged back.

"You look pale," she said as Jack let go of her. She grinned. "Have you been skipping your veggies?"

Jack raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"You know," Susan continued, her grin widening even more. "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away."

Jack laughed. "Then I better keep away from apples."

Susan glanced at the rest of the team, who were all trying not to listen to their conversation. She hesitated for a moment. "Jack..." she started, seriously.

Jack noticed her glance. "Yeah?" he asked, and motioned for them to walk towards his office for some privacy.

Susan bit her lip. "I just wanted to say thank you."

Jack looked at her. "For what?"

"You know, for helping me out in here, giving me money to buy the basics I needed," Susan said. "I wouldn't even have any ID's without you guys."

Jack smiled. "It's the least we could have done," he said. "It's our job."

"I know," Susan said as they reached his office. "But still... And I'd like to say one more thing."

Jack sat behind his desk. "Hmm?"

Susan couldn't stop the smirk from forming. "I won't be seeing you in a while," she said quoting Canton Everett Delaware the Third from season six. She backed towards the doorway, and winked. "But, you'll be seeing me."

She had time to see Jack's amused expression before she turned around and sauntered towards the cog wheel door. Feeling like her work there was done, she said goodbyes to Ianto, Tosh and Owen, and stepped inside the lift, putting her coat back on.

Back the ground floor, Susan looked down to adjust her shoulder bag. Then she looked back up, ready to start walking towards the secret door, but froze as she noticed something standing in front of her.

The lightning on the corridor was bad, but she could clearly make out the silhouette of an angel.

' _Shit_ ', Susan thought, her eyes widening. And then...

She blinked.


	7. Stage Seven: Sir Puns-a-lot

_"The past is never where you think you left it."_

― Katherine Anne Porter

 **Chapter 7: Stage Seven, Sir Puns-a-lot**

Susan felt the impact coming more than saw it. Everything moved faster than she could keep track of, until it was over and she hit the ground with a thud.

"Note to self: change time travel agencies," Susan groaned out and rolled onto her back, her stomach still rolling and vision spinning from being zapped by the Weeping Angel.

Susan simply stared at the darkening sky for a moment, wondering what she would see once she stood up. The sun was just setting and there were some fluffy white clouds on the sky. There was no twin moons or different colored suns, either. Nothing to suggest she was anywhere else than on earth. The damned Angel had probably sent her back in time. But how far, she didn't know.

Susan sighed and rubbed her aching forehead. At least it hadn't snapped her neck.

Susan slowly rose up to a sitting position, and saw that she was sitting on a field. Few hundred meters away she could see a dirt road, leading to a small city. From afar, it didn't look that much different from English cities of the 21st century, if it hadn't been for the lack of pavement and cars.

But as it was, the lack of cars or even old fashioned automobiles cued her in. This was much further back than she had anticipated. She might not even be in the 20th century.

Huffing out a curse, she got up, dusted off the dirt from her long black coat, and headed towards the city. Her fears were soon confirmed as she found a newspaper and glanced at the date. September 21st, 1891.

If she remembered correctly, Martha and the Doctor had been undercover in England in November, 1913. They had been hiding from the Family, and it was the only date in the early 20th century that Susan could remember. Sure, the Doctor had been in Cardiff with Charles Dickens somewhere in the 19th century, but that didn't really help her as she couldn't remember the date. That meant that Susan would be stuck here, unless she came across a miracle.

Susan didn't have much time to be worried, because as she turned the corner, there it was. At a street corner. People passed by it as if wasn't even there, and Susan had to rub her eyes to make sure she wasn't just hallucinating from all the stress and adrenaline.

The TARDIS, in all her glory, glowing in the twilight.

Susan approached it slowly, her heart hammering at her chest. To her surprise, the doors slid open before she could even touch the blue wooden panels. She lowered her hand, and stepped inside, her mind cloudy as if in a dream.

 _It's bigger on the inside_ , a voice whispered in her head. She dutifully ignored it in order to stare around her, wide eyed, until her attention was drawn towards the centre of the room. There was a dark haired man in a tweed jacket and a bow tie glaring the console and muttering about insubordination.

She stared at the 11th Doctor in amazement. It was really him. It was all real. She was inside the bloody TARDIS.

"Oh. My. God," she breathed out and the Doctor turned suddenly, almost falling over.

"What?" He exclaimed, and looked at her, squinting his eyes like she was something suspicious. "Susan, what are you doing here?"

"You're real!" Susan said, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I'm actually inside the TARDIS. Oh my god, this is actually happening!"

"Oh?" The Doctor said, tilting his head. "Wait! How are you here...?" He said, circling her. " _When_ are you here?"

Susan took a deep breath to calm herself, trying to get over the fact that she was talking to the Doctor. "Got zapped by an angel," she said and shrugged, giving him her best smile despite her situation. "I'm kinda lost in the wrong century."

The expression on the Doctor's face cleared. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "That explains it." He started pressing buttons and pulling levers around the console, all the while nodding to himself. "You always were sketchy on the details..."

"Details of what?" Susan said, peering into the screen over the Doctor's shoulder. "Are you taking me home?"

The Doctor stopped. "Unfortunately that isn't possible," he explained, his shoulders drooping. "I've gone through the numbers a million times but it's just not doable. I'm sorry."

"Eh," Susan said, shrugging. "Don't worry about it. I actually meant if you could give me a lift back to 2008."

The Doctor gave her a strange look. "Right."

Susan stared at him for a moment, then as the implications of his words set in, she raised an eyebrow. "Wait, do you know me?"

"It's complicated," he said, pulling a lever to start the flight. The TARDIS rumbled beneath their feet. "Wibbly wobbly-"

"-Timey wimey," Susan continued, giving him a rueful grin. "Okay."

Once again, the Doctor leveled her with a strange look. "That's it? No more questions?"

Susan crossed her arms. "What, were you going to say, ' _Spoilers_ '?"

The Doctor looked away and huffed.

"You were, weren't you?" Susan grinned.

"You never let me have any fun," the Doctor groaned. "And you're right at the start, too! Not fair..."

Susan frowned at him, then shook her head. "Alright," she said, and changed he pose into a comical one, acting like she couldn't believe what was happening. raising her hands to her chest in distress. "What, do you mean you know me? How is this possible? If only there were a simple explanation for this... like time travel!"

The Doctor grinned at her. "Spoilers," he said and winked.

Susan laughed.

The Doctor explained that they had simply met each other out of order this time.

"Bit like River Song, actually," he clarified.

"Eh, really?" Susan breathed out, and then scrunched up her nose at the comparison. "I'm not nearly as impressive, though."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the deprecating comment, but let it go and didn't elaborate. "I always thought the way you appeared was a bit suspicious," he said, pulling a lever. "But this explains it."

Susan tilted her head. "Appeared where?"

The Doctor glanced at her over his shoulder, grinning. "Farringham, 1913."

Susan blinked. "Are you serious?" she demanded, crossing her arms. "You're just going to drop me off, _there_?"

"Yup," the Doctor said. "I've already done it in my own timeline, I'm just personally experiencing it now."

Susan looked at him, unconvinced. "Time can be changed."

"Not this one," the Doctor said softly. "And I don't particularly want to, either."

She groaned, rubbing her forehead. "What am I supposed to do there?"

The Doctor smiled. "You'll figure it out," he said, turning back to the console. "You always do."

"Can I at least change before you drop me off?" she said, leveling him with a glare. "I don't want to stand out too much."

The Doctor didn't even look at her, just waved his hand towards one of the corridors. "First door on the right."

Susan sighed, and took the stairs up to the doorway and stepped into the corridor. It was weird, knowing the whole place was at least partially sentient and existed on another dimensional plane from the outside. She opened the first door and it revealed itself to be a bathroom.

She glanced in the mirror and washed the dirt off her face, before changing into something a bit more appropriate.

As she returned to the console room, the Doctor gave her outfit a glance and raised an eyebrow. "Clever," he said.

"Thanks," she muttered dryly and gave him a look. "You know, I'm gonna be a pain in your arse for this. You could have dropped me back in 2008."

The Doctor gave her a wide grin. "Where would the fun in that be?"

* * *

The Doctor dropped her off on November 8th, two days before the Family would start arrive and start killing people. Susan waltzed into the school in her three piece suit and a long jacket, a hat on her head that was hiding her hair, all topped with a fake moustache on her face. She was hoping the disguise was enough to pass her off as a man for at least a little while.

She showed her badge to the first person she saw, who promptly fetched Matron Redfern.

"May I ask what this is about, sir?" The matron said, handing the badge back to her.

"I am afraid I cannot disclose any details, ma'm," Susan said, in the lowest voice she could muster, in the most English accent she could manage. "Official Scotland Yard business, you see. I am here to speak to Dr. John Smith."

"Is it really that urgent? He's in the middle of a lecture," the matron said, frowning at Susan.

Susan shrugged. "Then I shall wait," she said, "but he has a personal servant, has he not?" She took a tiny notebook out of her jacket pocket and turned the page. "Martha Jones?"

"What does Miss Jones have to do with this?" the matron asked, her frown deepening. "Surely she has not done anything worthy of the Yard's attention."

Susan shook her head. "I am simply asking because there is a Ms Martha Jones is on record. According to our information she has been in Dr. Smith's family's service for years. As the matter concerns the family, I shall need to speak to her, as well."

The matron kept frowning, but nodded. "I'll show you to the library, one of the servants will bring you some refreshments while you wait," she said and headed towards the stairs. "This way, please."

The library was a beautiful room, although it looked like it's purpose was to serve as a sitting room more than an actual library. As the matron closed the door, Susan took her time browsing the titles on the bookshelves. It seemed to have mostly literary classics and some outdated scientific texts. Well, outdated to her.

' _We could take most of these theories apart in a few minutes,_ ' the voice inside her head said.

 **Oh, now you're talking?** Susan thought back, frowning. **You haven't bothered on comment on anything in months, not even when I dimension travelled! The most I got out of you was back in the TARDIS, when you made that joke. Where the hell were you?**

 _'Oh you know, around',_ the voice snarked. ' _Because this head is sooo interesting. What do you think? I was asleep.'_

 **You're such an arse** , Susan thought, sighing.

 _'And you're a crazy person who hears voices',_ the voice remarked back.

"The matron said you wished to speak to me, sir," Martha Jones said as she stepped through the door. She was clearly trying to keep her head and gaze down in a respectful manner, but her curiosity got better of her.

"Ah," Susan said, her eyes widening at the sight of one of her favourite companions. "You must be Miss Jones. Please take a seat."

"What is this about, sir?" Martha said, sitting down.

"I am here to talk to Dr. Smith about some matters concerning his family," Susan said, flashing her psychic paper at her. Martha's face slackened in surprise. "Do you know how long it will take until his lecture ends?"

"It will be another forty-five minutes at least," Martha said, frowning. "But why did you need to speak to me as well?"

Susan gave her a look, then glanced at the door, listening for any footsteps. There were none. She turned back to Martha, and took off her hat. "Because," she said, pulling off the ponytail and revealing her long hair. "I'm not actually with the Scotland Yard."

"What the hell...?" Martha said.

Susan ripped off the moustache and spoke in her normal voice. "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope," she said and grinned. "I need your help, Martha Jones."

Martha stared at her, eyes wide and her mouth open.

Susan heard footsteps, so she quickly donned the moustache and the hat, bunching up her hair up so that the hat would cover it. Seconds later a servant girl knocked on the door and came in with a tray of tea and biscuits.

"Ah," Susan said in her police officer voice. "Excellent, the tea is here." She took a cup and raised it to eye level, winking at Martha. "Keep calm and drink tea."


End file.
